so whats up with me today

today i've been thinking about the concept of life and death. the concept of love. the concept of beauty.

for people such as me who don't believe in reincarnation, or heaven and hell or any sort of afterlife death is just eternal darkness, eternal unconscious. you don't get to experience any of lifes beauty anymore.
once you're dead you'll never feel the touch of your loves hand, see your childs face light up with happiness, hear the sound of the most amazing, intricate music, taste warm chocolate on your tongue or smell the soft scene of a rose. and that's scary. so why do people waste their lives doing unfulfilling office jobs, to come home and eat junk food and slump in front of the TV, mindlessly watching soap operas?

you live beauty. it's all around you. go and dance in the rain, or wear silk, or stroke the face of the person you're in love with, or smile at your parents. cry with joy and clap with happiness. release your inner child and let her play. play play play. stop taking everything so seriously because when you go what are you really gonna wish you had, more money? or more love? my guess is the second.
go to a classical concert, learn to play an instrument, treat your ears to the music that you love and not the music you think you should love.
eat the food you enjoy as well as what is good for you. taste every fibre on your tongue and savour it.
go for a run and feel the wind in your hair and your muscles working under your skin. feel the crunch of the pavement under your feet, and the material that gently rubs against your skin.
breathe in deeply so you can smell everything. her perfume, those flowers, his leather shoes. smell all of it remember all of it.
take control of your senses.

go and fall in love or something.

"spring has sprung. the lion has lost to the lamb. the days are getting longer. the earth is turning green. it’s time to lay on your back & make shapes out of the bright white clouds. it’s time to grab your instruments & make silly music on the sidewalk. it’s time to call your friends & invite them on late night drives. touch the earth. breathe the air in & let it fill your lungs. you are alive & the season’s have changed. you’ve made it through another month. another day. you’ll make it through many more. wake up early & watch the sunrise. let yourself FEEL how beautiful it is to be alive."

"everyone is so busy hiding behind this tred or that one. their internet personality, their favourite scene. what’s so wrong with being messy & laughing until your lungs hurt? why is that not cool? why is that not something we photograph & if it does per chance get photographed we immediately de-tag ourselves or throw it into photoshop because god-forbid we don’t look perfect. it would be easy to capture that intensity oh the perfect moment of happiness but no oh no! we’d much rather look at photos of skinny girls smoking cigarettes & drinking on the street. boys in tight pants & silly glasses looking as if they’re waiting just waiting to kick your ass. girls with feathers in their hair speaking in nursery-rhyme tongue. boys hiding behind their short stories channeling their inner burkowski, ‘drunken’ poetry. why can’t we let those smiles slip out? that is cool. the smile that shows all your gums & your bones. that smile that contorts your face into maybe not the most flattering shape but oh, it’s beautiful i assure you! LISTEN: it’s cool to run around laughing & to make funny jokes & to be yourself. that is really cool. why hide behind something? why be afraid? don’t be afraid of who you are. you’re beautiful."

"Sometimes you look outside and all you see is grey, sometimes you wonder if you’re sick inside, if all that trash on the side of the road is seeping into you and making your head hurt. Migraines are just a symptom, just veins constricting and making the edges of your vision blur. Taking pills doesn’t help. Sometimes it helps just to stare into the sun for a while, maybe it hurts but its a different sort of pain, your corneas can take it.

Blow warm air into your cold red fingers, knowing this is the same air that’s been breathed for thousands of years, only it keeps getting dirtier. We’ve all got roots somewhere though and as long as you keep them wet they’ll keep growing, reaching down into the earth past all the lead and hydrocarbons and finding some sustenance down there somewhere.

Even when it seems like we keep making the earth smaller with all our advances, with all our technology that just gives people an excuse to stay further and further away. They’ll keep laying down that pavement but it’s more corruptible than our hearts, if you keep pushing it’ll give way. Sometimes pushing makes your head hurt too, but don’t ever stop. Keep reaching for the sunlight and counting the stars you can still see.

Maybe if you scream loud enough someone somewhere will hear you, and join in. All the tunnels under the earth will ring with it and we’ll wake up the worms, and they’ll scream too.

If you sit in the woods at night you can hear the trees groaning. Press your lips to the bark and say “I’m sorry, tree, everything is going to be ok”, even if everything’s not, and just let your forehead rest there for a while. Try counting the stars again “one, two, three, four… five? six?”, just don’t give up.

Falling in love is rebellion so you should just love everything as hard as you can."

"you’re alive. your breath is warm, and there is blood pumping through your veins. you’re human. and you know what that means? you’re inherently flawed… and you know what? that’s fine. in fact, it’s more than fine. you know what it really means? you’re perfect. for all of your “flaws” that are all part of what makes you YOU, you are absolutely, undeniably perfect.

thank you for being you. just the way you are. you are a beautiful, beautiful bird. the most beautiful. and I will always be here to tell you so when you need to hear it most."

--from You Are Remarkable

i shall leave you with those thoughts as i listen to she & him.
and clair de lune.