it's all talk, talk, talk (we're gonna get over this)

our song is the slam of screen doors, sneaking out late, tapping on your window

so today i've been down. the reason i've been down, i realised, is because i'm permanently convinced that other people do not like me.
i know that they do. i have friends. hannah likes me, she rings me up to ask if me if i wanna hang out with her on days that she doesn't have to babysit her brother. jack likes me, he was the one who invited me to the group meet up last friday. alex likes me, why else would he talk to me?
i am liked and i know it, i just struggle with remembering that fact. i blame primary school for that, young experiences and all.



i didn't know who i was supposed to be at fifteen

another theory is..well maybe i don't like myself. and if i don't like myself, why would i expect others to like me, right? but by now surely i must like myself?! i've tried so very hard. i don't really know how to like myself. i don't know if i do or not. i don't really know who i am. i know who i want to be. laid back, relaxed, happy, positive, fun loving. all those good things. all those good words but i don't know how to be that person. i worry too much about everything, i always have to be perfect.



i'm just a small town girl living in your crazy world

this is really hard. i need to change my mindset i think. make myself realise that i am a nice person, a good person, worthy of love. and then maybe i'll see that other people do love me, they really do.
it's so hard though. i don't know how people are just naturally that way. it makes no sense to me. i want to be happy, like really happy. i want to love myself, i want to be loved, i want to love others. i want to realise that i am an awesome individual and don't need to change myself or whatever. aahhhhh!

ok. ok.

i think i need to spend less time online for starters...



i'm sick & tired of your attitude, i'm gonna pretend i don't know you

c'mon.

i've gotta learn to love myself and believe that others love me back.

i'm going to die if i don't start to live again